Part
One
In the
shade of the house, in the sunshine on the river bank by the boats, in the
shade of the sallow wood and the fig tree, Siddhartha, the handsome Brahmin's
son, grew up with his friend Govinda.
Hesse, Hermann. "The Brahmin's
Son." Siddhartha. New City:
Bantam, 1951. 3. Print.
[Govinda
was happy] Bu Siddhartha himself was not happy. Wandering along the rosy paths
of the fig garden, sitting in contemplatation in the bluish shade of the grove,
washing his limbs in the daily bath of atonement, offering sacrifices in the
depths of the shady mango wood with complete grace of manner, beloved by all, a
joy to all, there was yet no joy in his own heart.
Hesse, Hermann. "The Brahmin's
Son." Siddhartha. New City:
Bantam, 1951. 5. Print.
[As] Some
Samanas once passed through Siddhartha’s town. [He spoke to Govinda and said]
“Tomorrow morning, my friend, Siddhartha is going to join the Samanas. He is
going to become a Samana.”
Hesse, Hermann. "The Brahmin's
Son." Siddhartha. New City:
Bantam, 1951. 9. Print.
On the
evening of that day they overtook the Samanas and requested their company and
allegiance.
Hesse, Hermann. "With the Samanas." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 13. Print.
Siddhartha
had one single goal—to become empty, to become empty of thirst, desire, dreams,
pleasure and sorrow—to let the Self die. No longer to be Self, to experience
the peace of an emptied heart, to experience pure thought—that was his goal.
Hesse, Hermann. "With the Samanas." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 14. Print.
[Eventually]
Siddhartha,…., said in a voice which contained as much grief as mockery, in a
soft, somewhat sad, somewhat jesting voice: “Soon Govinda, your friend will
leave the path of the Samanas along which he has travelled with you so long……
Hesse, Hermann. "With the Samanas." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 18. Print.
I have
always thirsted for knowledge, I have always been full of questions….”
Hesse, Hermann. "With the Samanas." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 19. Print.
[After
their conversation, they heard] The Brahmins talked about it in the town, the
Samanas in the forest. The name of Gotama, the Buddha, continually reached the
ears of the young men, spoken well and ill, in praise and in scorn.
Hesse, Hermann. "With the Samanas." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 20. Print.
Siddhartha
saw him and recognized him immediately, as if pointed out to him by a god.
“Look,” said Siddhartha softly to Govinda, “there is the Buddah.”
Hesse, Hermann. "Gotama." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 27.
Print.
They
heard his voice, and this also was perfect, quiet and full of peace. The
Illustrious One spoke in a soft but firm voice, taught the four main points,
taught the Eightfold Path; patiently he covered the usual method of teaching
with examples and repetition.
Hesse, Hermann. "Gotama." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 28-29.
Print.
[The next
day] Siddhartha said: “Yesterday, O Illustrious One, I had the pleasure of
hearing your wonderful teachings. I came from afar with my friend to hear you,
and now my friend will remain with you; he has sworn allegiance to you. I,
however, am continuing my pilgrimage anew.”
Hesse, Hermann. "Gotama." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 31.
Print.
As
Siddhartha left the grove in which the Buddha, the Perfect One, remained, in
which Govinda remained, he felt that he had also left his former life behind
him in the grove. Siddhartha reflected deeply as he went on his way. He
realized that something had left him, like the old skin that a snake sheds.
Hesse, Hermann. "Awakening." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 37.
Print.
—I was
afraid of myself, I was fleeing from myself. I was seeking Brahman, Atman, I
wished to destroy myself, to get away from myself, in order to find in the
unknown innermost, the nucleus of all things, Atman, Life, the Divine, the
Absolute. But by doing so, I lost myself on the way.
Hesse, Hermann. "Awakening." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 38.
Print.
At that
moment, when the world around him melted away, when he stood alone like a star
in the heavens, he was overwhelmed by a feeling of icy despair, but he was more
firmly himself than ever. That was the last shudder of his awakening, the last
pains of birth.
Hesse, Hermann. "Awakening." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 41-42.
Print.
Part Two
Siddhartha learned something new on every step of his path,
for the world was transformed and he was enthralled.
Hesse, Hermann. "Kamala." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 45.
Print.
As the day begun, Siddhartha asked his host, the ferryman to
take him across the river.
Hesse, Hermann. "Kamala." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 48.
Print.
At midday he passed through a village. At the end of the village, the path went alongside the brook, and at the edge of the brook a young woman was kneeling and washing clothes.
Hesse, Hermann. "Kamala." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 49-50.
Print.
.....the woman's name, and learned that
it was the grove Kamala, the well-known courtsen,..............
Hesse, Hermann. "Kamala." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 52.
Print.
"I have come to tell you this and to thank you because you are so beautiful. And if it does not displease you, Kamala, I would like to ask you to be my friend and teacher, for I do not know anything of the art of which you mistress". Thereupon Kamala laughed aloud. "It has never been my experience that a Samana from the woods should come to me and desire to learn from me....."
Hesse, Hermann. "Kamala." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 53-54.
Print.
He visited the beautiful Kamala regularly, learned the art of love in which, more than anything else, giving and taking become one. He talked to her, learned from her, gave her advice, received advice. She understood him better than Govinda had once done. She was more like him.
Hesse, Hermann. "Amongst the
People." Siddhartha. New City:
Bantam, 1951. 70. Print.
“You are the best lover that I have had,” she said
thoughtfully. “…..You have learned my art well, Siddhartha. Some day, when I am
older, I will have a child by you…..”
Hesse, Hermann. "Amongst the
People." Siddhartha. New City:
Bantam, 1951. 73. Print.
For a long
time Siddhartha had lived the life of the world without belonging to it.
Hesse, Hermann. "Samsara." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 75.
Print.
Siddhartha had learned how to transact business affairs, to
exercise power over people, to amuse himself with women; he had learned to wear
fine clothes, to command servants, to bathe in sweet-smelling waters.
Hesse, Hermann. "Samsara." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 77. Print.
He [begun to] wear himself out in this senseless cycle, became old and sick.
Hesse, Hermann. "Samsara." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 80. Print.
But then she enticed him, and in love play she clasped him to
her with extreme fervor, fiercely and tearfully, as if she wanted once more to
extract the last sweet drop from this fleeting pleasure.
Hesse, Hermann. "Samsara." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 81. Print.
After a time, she found that she was with child as a result of her last meeting
with Siddhartha.
Hesse, Hermann. "Samsara." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 85. Print.
Siddhartha had wandered into the forest,……
Hesse, Hermann.
"By the River." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 87. Print.
Siddhartha was deeply
horrified. So that was what he had come to; he was so lost, so confused, so
devoid of all reason, that he had sough death. This wish, this childish wish
had grown so strong within him: to find peace by destroying his body.
Hesse, Hermann.
"By the River." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 89. Print.
Siddhartha reflected on
his state. He found it difficult to think; he really had no desire to, but he
forced himself.
Hesse,
Hermann. "By the River." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 95. Print.
These thoughts passed
through his mind. Happily he looked into the flowing river. Never had a river attracted him as much as this one.
Hesse,
Hermann. "By the River." Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 100. Print.
I will remain by this river, thought Siddhartha.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Ferryman.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 101. Print.
When he reached the
ferry, the boat was already there and the ferryman who had once taken the young
Samana across, stood in the boat. Siddhartha recognized him.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Ferryman.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 102. Print.
“You are welcome,
Siddhartha. My name is Vasudeva. I hope you will be my guest today and also
sleep in my hut, and tell me where you have come from….”
Hesse, Hermann. “The Ferryman.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 103. Print.
When they were near the
ferry, Kamala collapsed and could not go any further.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Ferryman.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 111. Print.
Siddhartha smiled. “I recognized
you immediately, Kamala, my dear.” Kamala indicated her son and said: “Did you recognized
him, too? He is your son.”
Hesse, Hermann. “The Ferryman.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 112. Print.
…..he had listened to
Siddhartha greeting him as his son and making him welcome in Vasudeva’s hut.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Son.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 117. Print.
He had consider himself
rich and happy when the boy had come to him, but as time passed and the boy
remained unfriendly and sulky, when he proved arrogant and defiant, when he
would do no work, when he showed no respect to the old people and robbed
Vasudeva’s fruit trees, Siddhartha began to realized that no happiness and
peace had come to him with his son, only sorrow and trouble. But he loved him
and preferred the sorrow and trouble of his love rather than happiness and
pleasure without the boy.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Son.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 118. Print.
Siddhartha realized
that…..he could not help his son, that he should not force himself on him.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Son.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 126. Print.
The he went silently…through the wood again, back to the
ferry.
Hesse, Hermann. “The Son.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 127. Print.
Siddhartha took many travelers
across the river who had a son or a daughter with them, and he could not see
any of them without envying them, without thinking: So many people possess this
very great happiness—why not I?
Hesse, Hermann. “Om.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 129. Print.
Within Siddhartha there
slowly grew and ripened the knowledge of what wisdom really was and the goal of
his long seeking. It was nothing but a preparation of the soul, a capacity, a secret
art of thinking, feeling and breathing thoughts of unity at every moment of
life.
Hesse, Hermann. “Om.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 131. Print.
The
river flowed on towards its goal.
Hesse, Hermann. “Om.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 135. Print.
Govinda once spent a
rest period with some other monks in the pleasure grove which Kamala, the
courtsen, had once presented to the followers of Gotama. He heard talk of an
old ferryman who lived by the river, a day’s journey away, and whom many
considered to be a sage. When Govinda moved on, he chose the path to the ferry,
eager to see this ferryman, for although he had lived his life according to the
rule and was also regarded with respect by the younger monks for his age and
modesty, there was still restlessness in his heart and his seeking was
unsatisfied.
Hesse, Hermann. “Govinda.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 139. Print.
Siddhartha said: “what
could I say to you that would be of value, expect that perhaps you seek too
much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find.…..Once, O worthy one,
many years ago, you came to this river and found a man sleeping there. You sat
beside him to guard him while he slept, but you did not recognized the sleeping
man, Govinda,”
Hesse, Hermann. “Govinda.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 140-141. Print.
Astonished and like one
bewitched the monk gazed at the ferryman. “Are you Siddhartha?” he asked in a timid
voice.
Hesse, Hermann. “Govinda.” Siddhartha. New City: Bantam, 1951. 140. Print.